There are a lot of songs out there, especially country ones, that deal with death and losing someone. Until you are faced with that situation, they don't stand out as much. 'Over you', 'I drive your truck', 'Drink a beer', were all just good songs until we lost Dad. Since then there have been many nights walking the dog that I have cried a bit while listening to these and other songs.
There are some songs that aren't specifically about dying that strike a chord too. 'Hasn't hit me yet' comes to mind. There is another one by an east coast Canadian singer that goes like this:
'Winter came a bit too soon,
I sure miss saying goodbye to you.'
- Seasons by Andy Brown
It seems like a weird thing to miss, but I do. Whenever anyone of us would leave mom and dad's, he would always come outside to see us off. Weather didn't matter. Middle of winter, he would get dressed up, come outside, wave and stand there till we were out of sight. Even near the end when it obviously wasn't easy to manage the stairs, he still came out. It was something that was important to him. I don't think I'll ever stop missing that.
Today is Dad's first birthday that he's not here to celebrate. Last year we were still able to enjoy a big party with him. This year we're left with the many memories we have. Waffles. Music. Stories. A good beer. The way he put everything in God's hands. The way I would call him and ask what he was doing today and he would always say 'nothing.' Then we would talk for twenty minutes or half an hour about nothing.
I made waffles on the weekend and Biggest helped me. We dirtied three bowls, folded in egg whites and listened to Johnny Cash and Johnny Horton on vinyl. Making new memories and keeping old ones alive.
Happy birthday Dad. I miss you. I'll see you again. Later.