Thursday, 3 March 2016

I don't like balls...and other stories

I'm not sure how I still get surprised by some of the questions or comments that come out of the girls' mouths, but occasionally I do.  It just so happens that over the past week or so, each girl has caught me pretty much speechless.  Let's go in order:

Littlest received a mermaid doll to play with in the bathtub for her birthday.  She was busy playing away in there one night before bed when the usual call came: 'Daaaaaddd!'  You would swear it was a life threatening problem judging by her persistence.  'DDDAAAADDD!!'  Okay, okay, I'm coming.  When I got to the door, she asked me, 'How do mermaids pee?' Hmm.  That's something I don't think I had ever pondered before.  I said that I guessed they just went in the water the way fish do.  'No, how do they pee?  Where does it come out?'  Now I have definitely never pondered the exact anatomical make-up of a mermaid.  She was holding up her Barbie-sized doll, slowly turning it and looking for some sort of clue.  Finally I said that they must have holes in there somewhere, you just can't see them on the doll.  She seemed satisfied with that.  I call that a win for dad.

Middlest is going to go to camp for the first time this summer.  It usually fills up, so we had her registered already and she received her letter in the mail this week saying she was accepted and what to bring.  I was making supper and she was reading me the list.  Swim suit, towels, shoes, flashlight, Bible, sleeping bag...etc...personal hygiene items.  She stopped, looked up and asked, 'Dad, what are personal hygiene products?'  I told her they were things like a tooth brush, hair brush, deodorant.  She got a relieved look on her face and then started to giggle uncontrollably.  She said, 'That's good.  I thought that meant tampons!'  Then we both started to laugh.  'That's what the box says!' she said.  Julie later pointed out that the box says feminine hygiene products.  She was close.

Biggest brought home a note from school about an after school baseball camp they were offering.  Knowing she had no interest in this, I told her that I signed her up.  That's when she said, 'Dad, you know I don't like balls!'  I almost blew my mouthful of milk right out my nose.  Balls.  She had to say more than one.  Couldn't have said, 'I don't like ball.'  I then asked her if she didn't like any balls.  She replied, 'Nope.  Soccer balls, basket balls, dodge balls, baseballs.  I hate them all!'  All right then.  Later on that evening, she was talking about a friend of hers who is in figure skating and was previously in gymnastics.  I asked her if she felt her life was lacking because she wasn't in any organised sports.  Then she said, 'Dad, you know I hate sports!'

So there you have it.  Know where your mermaids pee.  I mean really know where they pee.  Leave your hygiene products at home (for now).  And just say no to balls and sports. Later.